5-18-10

Her friends tell her she is beautiful, her family says nothing. She gets hugs everyday from those she knows but she has to ask for one from her family.

She wants to be wanted, needs to be needed, longs to know she is beautiful to those she holds most dear. Oh how she longs to have someone love those little quirks about her. She aches down to her very core to be held and feel precious.

Everyday she worries she isn't good enough, beautiful enough, lovable enough. "Maybe if I was thinner" she thinks "Or maybe if I was prettier" she says to herself. "Maybe then I could be a better daughter, sister, friend, mother" she finds herself wondering. She questions everything she does to make sure she doesn't fail. "Was I good enough today?" She says, "Did I please you?" she asks.

She is turning in circles trying to please those on earth so much that she hears not the voice of One who finds her enchanting being who He made her to be and who's love knows no limits. He asks that she trust in Him. He longs to open her eyes and show her the beauty He sees. He delights in every little quirk for He fashioned them with His own hands. He placed great passions and dreams in her heart, how He longs for her to embrace them, to trade in fear and doubt for faith and love in Him.

He says "Ask and you shall receive, but ask you must". He whispers to her soul "Easy it shall not be but trust and have faith My child for I shall guide every footstep and catch you when you fall." God wants you. God needs you. He finds you to be the most beautiful just being who He designed you to be. He is near even when you can't feel Him, when you are fragile and battered He holds you safe in His secure embrace, putting you back together again.

Raising her head, drying her tears she gets down on to her knees, coming before her Father to ask that He open her eyes and give her the endurance to face another day. Somehow she knows she can make it by His grace alone. It will not be easy but God never said it would be.

Written by Justine N.