Wellll here we are on day 3 of my Bible Study. I found myself this afternoon actually wanting to run away upstairs for an hour to do my study. What did I learn today...I learned that God's word is sweeter than honey and it will fill us to the brim. I also learned that God will give us to our own passions, boy did he ever with me sometimes I am ashamed to admit.
I am struggling, I am struggling with understanding how it can be that we truly can be full just on God's word alone. Because as I sit here now I am HUNGRY and I am craving a ding dang darn cookie like none other. So I can't say I feel to full right now even after doing my bible study. But what I am is curious, I am curious as to what it means to feel full on the word of God.
I am also afraid, very very afraid of failing. Because I know myself very well and last night all I wanted to do was quit. Stop and go back to how I was before, not worrying about being a glutton or sinning (though still feeling bad and horrible). I wanted to erase what God had shown me and just go back to being that ignorant little sheep blindly walking off the path.
Yep that was me last night! Even now as I look towards tomorrow I find fear in my heart. Can I really do this? Will I really be set free? I don't have an answer for that because I know God is still working on my heart. And it HURTS! It hurts because he is convicting me of all my wrong doings and showing me things I really truly need to give up. I don't want to give them up but I need to, I don't like that feeling.
I don't like being told what to do by anyone really (yep stubborn old me!) but when God is CONVICTING you gosh the first thing you want to do is dig your heels in or turn tail and run. So I am sitting here between digging my heels in and running like a scared pup...saying "Okay God...show me".
I am just droning on now, but I guess what I am trying to say is I am not sure what I learned today. I felt like I read a few pieces of scripture I really didn't understand. Okay truth be told there is A LOT of scripture I don't understand. But this afternoon I actually wanted to, which is a start :).
Justine
My versus for the day
Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way prosperity will come to you. Accept instruction from his mouth and lay up his words in your heart.If you return to the Almighty, you will be restored: If you remove wickedness far from your tent and assign your nuggets to the dust, your gold of Ophir to the rocks in the ravines, then the Almighty will be your gold, the choicest silver for you. Surely then you will find delight in the Almighty and will lift up your face to God. — Job 22:21-26
Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. — Psalm 34:8
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