Hooooboy today was tough. During my lesson tonight I felt VERY convicted and started crying.
I was asked this question "Share your thoughts on Isaiah 55:2-3: "Why spend money on what is not
bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and
eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. Give
ear and come to me; hear me, that your soul may live."
"
And this is my response to that.
"My thoughts...last year when I decided to start Take Shape For Life
(medifast) I was excited. It was a sure fire way to get this weight off
me and keep it off, I read all the books I was supposed to and I bought
the food I needed to buy. I weighed everything out just like asked and
the pounds started falling off.
But I spent my money on what was not "bread" and I labored on what
didn't satisfy. I was skinny yes but I wasn't satisfied, I was always
afraid of losing it. I stopped listening to my faith and to God and
started listening to the world, I started turning to food more and more
as things went wrong and then again as my weight crept up.
In that world they worshiped health and a fit body, they wanted to go
the ultimate place where you could live longer than the normal life span
and I kept asking myself as I became a health coach "Where is God in
all of this great plan?".
Even Christians within that group lost sight
of that now that I look back.
Now I feel I am to the second part of that verse. I walked through the
first part and never was satisfied though I kept chasing it. Now God is
saying "Listen to ME, I am the only bread you need and my word will
fulfill you when none else will". I have felt so empty but I know that
God can fill that void.
Candid again here I have been close to God before, I have felt like I
was floating on air and nothing could get me down. But as I walk
through this course and I look back I am starting to see where I would
fall. I am starting to see just how sinful I really am and it is HARD
for me to see.
I always thought I was a good Christian and I always
thought I did good though I knew I sinned.
I think that I would spend money on what is not bread and labor on what
did not satisfy because I didn't want to see the truth. I felt guilt
and shame and I didn't want to face what God was asking me to do."
That was a TOUGH question for me to answer. Mainly because I was forced to see all the times I had done exactly what the first part of the verse said and still felt unsatisfied.
The BIGGEST thing I learned today is just how sinful I am. Which might not sound big because I mean come on we are all sinners but you know what? It is STILL hard to stare at the proof right in your face. When confronted by scripture that talks about it and seeing it, that is hard. I know God has been taking me on a journey, I pray he gives me the strength and the wisdom to see it through. I don't say I pray I have the strength because one thing I learned is all our strength truly is his and his alone. It was never ours to begin with and we are nothing without Him.
If you ever have any questions on what I write please feel free to ask me. I will be very open and honest about whatever I am learning through this journey. It won't be easy but I want to share this in the hopes that God might use it for His glory.
Justine
PS: I want to say I do NOT think that Take Shape For Life is horrible or bad but I do believe now looking back and seeing what the bible has to say it is very dangerous for a Christian. Because what it sells is selfish even if we come with good intentions. If used as a tool for God's glory than GREAT! But that is VERY hard to do when the whole time you slowly are getting what the world sees, thinks or says shoved in your face and being told that is what is right.
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