8/29/2010

Cruel and harsh words spew from my mouth, I change who I am at every corner or so it seems. The things I have done are things I can’t ask forgiveness from or have redemption given. I am a child of God they say but how could God want a child like me? I have cursed His name and cursed Him for my lot in life. I look for love from men and never find it; instead all I find are sharp edges and bitter words. What tastes sweeter than honey soon turns bitter as wormwood in my mouth; such is what my choices in life have been.

Some look down and pity me whilst others call me a sinner and wish to cast me out. Whore I am called, something diseased and trashed. Unclean they say I am, unwanted to those around me.

John 8:3-11
“ 3 And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,
4 They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.
5 Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?
6 This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.
7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.
8 And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.
9 And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.
10 When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?
11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.”

1 John 1:9
9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Psalm 51:1-17
1 Have mercy upon me, O God,
According to Your lovingkindness;
According to the multitude of Your tender mercies,
Blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
And cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I acknowledge my transgressions,
And my sin is always before me.
4 Against You, You only, have I sinned,
And done this evil in Your sight—
That You may be found just when You speak,[a]
And blameless when You judge.

5 Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
And in sin my mother conceived me.
6 Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts,
And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.

7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8 Make me hear joy and gladness,
That the bones You have broken may rejoice.
9 Hide Your face from my sins,
And blot out all my iniquities.

10 Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me away from Your presence,
And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.

12 Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,
And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.
13 Then I will teach transgressors Your ways,
And sinners shall be converted to You.

14 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
The God of my salvation,
And my tongue shall sing aloud of Your righteousness.
15 O Lord, open my lips,
And my mouth shall show forth Your praise.
16 For You do not desire sacrifice, or else I would give it;
You do not delight in burnt offering.
17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit,
A broken and a contrite heart—
These, O God, You will not despise.


Father I read these and I see I was wrong, I am wanted by You. Through You and only You will I be made new, my transgressions shall be forgiven and I will be clean again.

6/7/10

Glancing at Him you see a poor man. He is not dressed in fine linens but rough cloth that has seen better days. His face has been weathered by the sun and harsh conditions while His hands are calloused from years of hard work. Look again and see the kindness that shines in His face, how strong and capable His hands are.

No you deem Him the lowest of low seeing as He is a simple shepherd. You miss how lovingly He tends to His flock. He keeps a sharp lookout for anything sure bring them harm. He skillfully binds their wounds and treats any illness so they might heal well. Everyday He leads them to fresh flowing water and takes care to see that they have good food. He stands guard by night, a fearsome foe should anything want to bring harm. His staff he uses to protect as well as guide.

When one of His flock goes astray He diligently searches until He finds and brings them Home. Across His broad shoulders He carries one of His injured, He won't leave her to die so He carries her to safety.

He is very wise and knows everything about what he so lovingly protects and guides. He might not dine with the Kings or have expensive objects. He is the King of Kings and He needs no such objects as we have on earth.

While He may be only a simple shepherd to you if you look again you see He is the Son of the most Holy. I am proud to be one of His flock, He shed His own blood so we might live with Him and learn from Him. The next time you look with your eyes remember look with your heart and listen to what speaks to your soul. You might be surprised at what you find. The shepherd you might deem worthless is the reason you stand before Him today, that by His life He gave to save you. His name is Jesus and He is my King, my Savior.

Written by Justine N.

4-15-10

Prince Charming

Stories are told of Him, little girls grow up with dreams of meeting Him one day. He was born among us as royalty, a King of Kings born to lead His people but they believed Him not. His noble steed you see is not a great white stallion as those in picture books portray but rather a small grey donkey. He stands before you clothed not in shining armor rather simple garments woven of wool. His stance is tall and strong but yet you sense that He is gentle and humble. His heart is that of a warrior though He has the soul of a lover.

Broad shoulders speak of strength, rough hands tell tales about years of hard work. Eyes silently convey love and compassion beyond what you have ever known. His smile puts the sun to shame while His very voice evokes peace as the quiet timbre soothes seemingly your very soul.

He will treat your heart as the most precious possession He has ever been given. He will travel to the end of time itself to protect you and never will He forsake you. He fought the greatest battle of all and won, death He has defeated so forever He might spend with you.

His name you might ask? Jesus the son of God and our Savior. He truly is our Prince Charming and He wants us so what are you waiting for?

As I lay with my face against the ground. Tears making tiny rivers in the mud. My body aches as the sobs wrench out of me. The cold seeps to the very core of me. Doubt and frustration rule my thoughts. Questions plague me. "What did I do wrong?" "Am I not enough?". I feel naked and exposed. All my wrong doings and mistakes are my only company in this vast wasteland.

I never saw Him. How could I have? I was blinded by my pride and my fear. He stood tall and strong. Ageless He was as if time itself dare not touch Him. A fierce leader but a gentle healer. His hands have bandaged many wounds. He can come no closer though. The pain in His eyes are so raw you look away. His voice is so deep and rich, so full of love. But I can not hear it nor can I see Him. You see He will not force me to choose Him. I have to ask for Him to come to me.

Written by Justine N.

You know her. That girl who always has a smile and her laughter fills the air. She looks so happy and like nothing could bring her down. But do you see the tears? What she hides behind the smiles and the laughter? He does. He see's how it is eating at her.

She can hide from you and me but not Him. You don't see the silent struggle for her very soul. For her very life.

She stands defeated and alone. She asks herself "How can I go on?" "What have I to live for?". She doesn't see Him standing in the doorway. Tears make their journey down His face. His arms are open wide and he sees how broken she is. How he longs to run to her and shelter her. To break those chains that hold her to the ground. Clothe her in clean garments and call her His own.

But He can't step over the thresh hold of her heart. She must invite Him in. A leap of faith she must take. He cries to her but she doesn't listen.

Written by Justine N.

This too isn't finished...I am not sure how I want to finish it but when you read it keep in mind that it isn't finished quite yet.

Do you see? Can you hear it?
My light dims and silence grows near. How much more can I withstand. See...how they crowd close waiting for me to fall. Hands waiting to pull me under. Their foul words fill the air as I stumble.

"You can't win" they say "Why try" echoes in my ears. Emptiness is all I feel. My bones are frail and weak. Slowly I ask "How can I go on?" "I am so tired and weary". My eyes are filled with bitter tears and my body grows cold.

Where is my Savior? The One who said He would never leave. I am dying alone and He is no where to be seen. Do my cries fall on deaf ears? Has His Heart turned to stone towards me? Does he turn His face from my pain? Why does the enemy prevail. What did I do? "Father!" I cry "Save me! Your child needs You!"

Written by Justine N.

Now on this one I want to go back and maybe finish it or end it a little different but this is how it is for now.

As I stand there looking at Him I wonder if He knows it is because of me He is there. Even if I close my eyes it would not shut out the sounds of the mob around me. I can almost feel the rough wood in my two hands as I swing down the hammer to drive the nails even deeper into His hands. Does He know? That it might as well be me taking the spear in my hands laughing as I thrust it into the flesh of His side.
-Date Unkoown-


No I may not be that person doing it but I might as well have placed His thorny crown on His head. He doesn't look evil. I imagine that His eyes shine with uncontained joy. He would stand tall yet be humble. He would care not for who you might seem like other people might.

In His presence you would find healing and you would learn much from Him. What a great teacher He must be. Although now you could not see it. No now His body is beaten and broken. Salty tears mix with blood to make watery red streaks down His face and His back is torn from the whips and beatings He received. Yet He does not even curse those who afflict Him but instead He calls out to the one He calls His Father to forgive them for they know not what they have done.

Jesus Christ is His name and I among with many other put Him on that cross where He now draws His last and final breath.

Written by Justine N.