So today it gave me the option of going back and doing the first 30 days over again before continuing on to finish my 60 days. I thought long and hard about it...it is a commitment doing just 60 days but being half way done felt good. I feel though that I need to back at the beginning, I can glean more now I feel because I am starting for the right reasons.
I know I don't write daily though I wish I could. Life gets busy and I end up forgetting or just not having time to sit down and organize my thoughts to put them down here. I don't even know if people read my blog or what they even think of it. This is more a way for me to rehash things and in some ways document my journey for myself.
I wish I felt I was better at blogging...I feel selfish that this blog is all about me. But that is what a blog is right? A documentation of someone's life or what they are learning/doing/teaching. Forgive me it is late, I am exhausted so I am rambling quite a bit right now. The whole reason I am writing this short blog is because I just wanted to say...I am starting over again. I don't feel I am in the right place to continue on with this bible study and I want to go over my old lessons and relearn what was taught.
I also want to work on spending my mornings in the Bible and maybe even going out places to do my lessons instead of being holed up in my bedroom. I am thinking maybe a local coffee shop or something along those lines as a place to sit and quietly do my lessons. It will get me out into the world and maybe God will bring people into my life who can be an encouragement or maybe I can be the encourager. I admit I am very nervous at the thought of starting back at square one with this whole bible study. It is hard and for some reason my anxiety levels have been off the charts at home. I have felt it bubbling up inside of me and I noticed since I haven't been spending as much time in God's word I find my eating habits going back to how they where.
I haven't said anything but doing this bible study I am following a guide line of how to eat. I have 1 fast day, two juice days, two half days and two normal days. Since I am restarting this bible study my fast days will be Sundays. I have decided on my fast days to not only fast from food but to fast from any online or phone interactions. I mean I will talk to people on the phone but I will not be using it for any other purpose but to be a phone. I am wanting to do this because I have noticed my not so healthy addiction to getting on Facebook all the time or first getting online to distract myself from things. This will be a challenge and for those of you who read this and know me please say something if you see me online during these fast days on Sundays. I want to hold to what I say and until July 6th I will be fasting from those things. I also want to be aware of what things I watch on those days and even the things I listen.
Fast days are a day that I want to use to get closer to God. Before it was hard because they where on Thursday which means I had to be online using the computer for my job. Makes it MUCH harder to abstain and fast from things like that if you have to use facebook for work or be online for your job. So I am thankful that now I can have Sundays as that fast day. It will allow me to focus more on my relationship with God and less on my somewhat unhealthy facebook addiction :). Okay long random blog over and done with, sorry it was such a rambling all over the place read.
I do ask for prayer, I ask that I would learn even more as I start over again. I would be disciplined in my eating habits, I would start working out more and I would really apply these things in my life.
God bless!
Justine
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