"Is this what you want!" she screams at Him. "For me to loose all control with you!" comes from between clinched teeth, her fists beating a tattoo into His broad chest. "Fight me!" "Why won't you fight me and curse me!" she yells while seemingly He stands defenseless against her onslaught.

"I hate that you don't stop me from doing these things I hate so much! I hate how I can't seem to ever seem to feel You near me when I need you the most! Where were You when I was falling! What happened to Your promise of never leaving me! I prayed for You to save me but You never did! I tried to be happy at church and act like nothing happened but I knew I wasn't apart of them, I wasn't one of them"

She looks up to see silent tears streaming down His face. His arms come up around her trembling figure as she collapses weeping into His embrace.

"Yes my daughter this IS what I want! I won't fight you because I love you and how could I curse you? You have the power to stop these things if only you would give them to Me. I am always near you and by you but you close your ears to my words and harden your heart against my warnings.

I never left you even in your darkest hour I was by your side catching every tear that fell from your face. You tried to pretend to be something you are not this is why you feel apart from them. You are fallen and you will sin so why try to hide behind this facade of being perfect? Those who are in church are not better or worse than you and yet they are of My flock."

He lifts her face to look into His "I have given forgiveness to you but will you won't give it yourself? You hold so tightly to the past and to all these wrong doings you have committed. They are meager and poor in companionship so why do you keep them so close? I have already wiped your slate clean yet you keep them between us like a shield or armor. Let them go, give Me reign in your heart and your life."